I’m currently held up by my family, so ok I’m just out of hospital after an operation and my family are doing an amazing job at looking after me.
I can’t drive at the moment so my Mammy is my chauffeur she’s also the cook, childminder and general maid. On Friday to get me out of the house we decided to take a trip, one of our ports of call was Tesco.
We entered the shop and of course the kids wanted to go see the toys so off we went ten minutes later an empty trolley and a long list for Santa. Oh yes the Santa lists have started already in our house! Myself and my Mam told Little red head and Mini miss it was time to say bye bye to the toys LRH said his tearful goodbyes but Mini miss had other ideas. I thought fine then this little miss needs to learn a lesson, now some of ye may point fingers and say I’m cruel but at no stage was Mini miss in any danger I could see her the entire time. I hid down an aisle LRH stayed with me and my Mam went to check the price of something. As far as Mini miss was concerned we had all left, she continued to play with the toys looking around a few time but in general happy out after five minutes oh yes five minuets Mini miss started to look for us, we were still hidden but Mini miss clearly has eyes in the back of her head as she came running round the corner and goes “hi Mammy”. I’ve no idea how she knew where we were, but my heist was bust and Mini miss was practically laughing at us.
With the promise of a kinder egg we got Mini miss into the trolley and we finally got into the shopping, oh hang on scratch that LRH decided to do his best schumacher impression and shot of with Mini miss in the trolley down the end of the shop to see the fish! My Mam goes running after them I’m creeping behind trying to catch up, and on my way I get stopped by a lady holding white socks. This lady wants to know the size of my “girls” shoes, I politely through gritted teeth say is it my girl or my boys shoe size you’re wondering about, because she’s pointing at LRH but he is a boy so I’m confused. I ask at least three more time is it my boy or girl your looking at and I clearly direct her to each child,yes the girl there with the red shoes on the lady say. Oh yes the red runners not red Dorothy shoes, so ok I don’t say that to her but she just doesn’t seem to be listening to the genders of my children so I give up, well kinda of give up and I tell her that My Boy is size 11 foot, I help her sort out the right size socks for her girl grandchild and I walk away shaking my head wondering am I ever getting out of this shop with the shopping.
Once the four of us are together we start down the food aisle and all is going good we pick up the kinder eggs and spend the next few aisle trying to stop Mini miss opening her before it’s paid for. I’m led into a false hope that we’re on the winning side when Mini miss starts to shout LRH name over and over and over again she then moves on the general screaming at the top of her lungs. As we are searching for fly spray which is very near the wine aisle and I’m tempted to just go there and crack open a bottle, a lady rounds the corner and screams back at Mini miss. Yes a fully grown lady total stranger starts screaming at us, I and my Mam laugh Mini miss stops for a nano second and continues her best impression of operatic screaming. That wine aisle is looking ever more tempting but alas we are at the tills. I feel like i’ve done some kind of endurance test and as I’m paying for the groceries and say to My Mam, “I think we need a coffee”!
It was only a few weeks ago I wrote a piece on tips for shopping with children I think I need to refresh myself on my own advice or failing that I’m signing up for the next Fear Factor, because nothing prepares you for battle like shopping with kids. . .